Seasons

Years ago I had a friend tell me that the law of a season for everything also applied to friendships, and as hard as it's been through the years and friendships since, I have never forgotten that.  I distinctly remember her saying that sometimes you can have a friendship that is absolutely perfect for you in that moment, but as time passes and people change, the relationship isn't neccessarily going to continue to be everything that it was.  The season has passed.  It doesn't mean that the friendship never should have been, or that it wasn't truly meaningful at one time, it simply means that it is no longer meant to be and you need to stop trying to force it or expect it to continue to be the same.  There are frienships which gradually grow apart, without hard feelings, or one party feeling wronged.  It's just the natural progression of life.  Some friendships are able to withstand change and continue in a more long distance, casual state.  Some are the ones where you don't speak for months, but can pick up at any moment as if there were not passage of time.  Yet there are those in which you must find it within yourself to walk away and know that it has simply reached the end.  No hard feelings, no regrets, it's just over.  And it's ok.

I've gone through many of these changes in friendships over the years.  I have several who will always (no matter how little I see or talk to them) hold a special place in my heart.  I know that at any time, I can pick up where we left off.   And then I have those who have become casual friends, ones with whom it is completely acceptable to catch up in a quick chat at a kids game, or on fb and love every second.  And then there are those few that I have had good times with, but as life changes us, I come to a point where I have to admit that it is not a healthy or functional friendship and I must let go.  Sometimes it takes me awhile before I can admit that, but with the admitting comes a sense of relief, because I don't have to force myself into a mold that I don't fit into anymore.  The other side doesn't always understand, but it's ok.  I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I'm just trying to be true to who I've become, and recognizing when and if those seasons change.

Don't be afraid to befriend people regardless of how long it lasts.  Know that you are there with that person, in that very moment of time for a reason, so give everything you can.  You never know if that person will be the one who will stand by for the long haul.  But if they are not, you can rest in the knowledge that you had a wonderful friendship with them for that season of your life. 

Amazingly enough, I did grow gradually apart from the friend who introduced this amazing truth to me, and in recent years reconnected with her on fb.  You see, sometimes those people come back and you can enjoy that friendship again, and once again......the seasons change.......