The Anatomy of a Trip to Target

Sadly, you know your day is going nowhere when the kids are driving you so crazy that you decide taking them to Target is actually a better option than just staying home.  And, like most of my last minute "I want to hurt you, so instead let's all get in the car and go spend money" shopping trips, this one was your typical train wreck.

I prefaced the trip by informing the kids that this time we are going mostly for ME, and that the only thing I was going to get for them was a few pair of flipflops and some shorts.  Don't even bother asking for more, or complain to me, because it's not going to work.....I need summer clothes for MYSELF.....we will be looking in MY section, etc, etc.  (Not sure who I was trying to convince more, them or me, because I'm pretty sure they had tuned me out.)

We arrive at the store and walk in looking like a typical mom and kids.  I grab a cart and get a wipe for the handle only to find that in that moment, I had already lost two to the "bargain section" (That damn junk aisle gets 'em every time!) I managed to round up the troops fairly quickly with no issues and the only thing that was forced on my head today was a butterfly net. (Probabaly no lice in there, so I guess I'm good.)

I stop in at the womens swimsuit area just to browse a little bit, (even though I already know my body won't look good in any of it!) and almost immediately get the "ewwws", pointing, and giggles of Trevor.  (At what point do boobs become not funny anymore??? Seriously.)  I decide it's not worth it and head to shoes because maybe actually picking something out for them to start with will help me in the long run.....(who am I kidding??)

The girls' "shopping switches" have officially been turned on now, and I instantly remember why I hate doing this with three kids.......Lindsey is in a grabbing frenzy showing me one cute pair "that she MUST have even if it means using her own money" after another.  Sam is quite a bit more in control and sensible, but seems to have forgotten that we are only looking for flipflops and has made a beeline to the section of Converse sneakers that I have no intention of buying today.  As the commotion continues, Trevor has hauled himself into the basket of the cart to endure another shopping trip and I'm starting to feel a headache coming on. (We have only been here 10 mins.)

By the time we make our flipflop selections and are able to head back over to shop for myself, I have pretty much lost any and all desire to even be here. I try to make my selections for the dressing room as quickly as possible while ignoring the "She pushed me!" and "No I didn't!" in the background. The girls have also chosen things to try on even after I told them repeatedly that no matter how small it looks, it's still too big.  I tell them they can try them on but I'm not buying any of it.  We make our way back to the dressing rooms...Trevor is now laying in the cart in a fetal position.  I get him out, bring him in with me, and tell him to face the wall.  After I am sufficiently clothed he turns around and starts in with the comments....."wow, your belly button is big!", "it must take a long time for it to get THAT big." I ignore him and tell him to face the wall again. (That's called fat guy.....that's what happens when I have had three of you.) Of course my choices just reinforce how BIG my bellybutton is and I get dressed again and give it all back.  On to the next section..........

We head to kids clothing.  This is the part of the trip where the girls are "in the zone".  They have been set loose to look for themselves and I only see them for brief moments when they run back to show me what they've found.  I pick out what Trevor needs, enjoying how easy it is to shop for a boy, and then we both go find the girls. Amazingly enough they have actually picked the shorts I needed them to, however both are picking out extra items that weren't on the list.  Again, I have my oldest more reasonable that's fairly easy to reign in, and then I have my free spirit who is flitting through the dept, dancing and posing in a 4th of July springy headband.  She keeps skipping up to me asking for this and that.  One item in particular she has become fixated on and after about the fifth no, devil mom comes out and barks, "I SAID NO!"  Glancing to the right I notice another mom and daughter looking at me......(whatever, like she hasn't done that before!) However, I move on before she has a chance to call the police.......trust me, I've taken those calls.

I am now effectively slipping into a type of coma that turns me into a mom zombie.  My head is throbbing and I feel dizzy.  I am just going through the motions trying to wrap up the last few things that I need.  The kids voices asking for things and arguing with each other are now just white noise in the background.  I hear none of what they are saying.  I am sure I look miserable but I don't even care. (Thank God my kids know how to call 911 if I pass out.) I am silently calculating the pile I have in my cart.  **SIGH** This is so much more than I planned on getting and almost none of what I came for.  This is so going to ruin my husband's night when he sees this month's credit card bill.

We make our way to the check out.  Somehow I manage to complete my transaction without even one person asking for something at the register....possibly because they know we already have plans to go for yogurt afterwards.  And so concludes another trip to Target. And as painful as it is I will forget and will do it again...... someday............ ;)

In the Moment

I'm a fairly spontaneous person.  I am also a procrastinator.  I'm not good at planning ahead, but can last minute something like nobody's business.  My house is messy more often than not. I have a perpetual calendar of actual appts in my head that rarely make it to the calendar on the wall. I do my best to keep up with the laundry situation but all too often I'm making sure everyone at least has the jeans, shirt, and pair of underwear they need for the next day. That being said, I have gotten down on myself more times than I can count because I'm not like others who seem to have all of their ducks in a row all the time, or have their calendar filled with fun things for their family months in advance. While I will probably always aspire to be like these moms, it occurred to me this morning what a gift the ability to be spontaneous is.

I have belted out the line of a song for no particular reason so often, that my kids don't even bat an eye anymore and will often join in. We've had before bed dance parties just because the song on the radio was good enough that it would've been a waste not to. I have head banged next to my son's bed, just to hear his infectious giggle before he goes to sleep. I'm not afraid to go out and join in on the slip and slide and I've been known to cover it with dish soap just to make it faster.  When they were little, I once added body wash to their kiddie pool in the evening and called it good enough. We've skipped through parking lots, and have had sock races in the kitchen to see who can slide the farthest.  After all the no's that they hear from me, on the rare occasion that I can say yes, I say it like Elf, with all the expression I can fit into one word. I have jumped on my kids beds when they don't want to wake up, and made last minute movie runs. I have taken my kids to the beach for the day just because the urge hit me the day before. Our can of whipped cream is shot directly into my kids mouths more often than it's used on food. We hop in the car and start driving just so we can find the best view of a beautiful sunset, or stop everything and sit on the porch and watch the storm clouds roll in.

I guess the whole point of my rambling is to say that some of the most memorable moments that I have had with my kids were things that happened spontaneously. We have also had incredible memories from times that we have planned, but never underestimate the power of being last minute. If your kids ask you to do something and it's not at all what you have planned for the day, do it anyway.  All too soon your kids will have other interests that don't involve you anymore and you will realize that years of "not having the time" have passed you by.  As wonderful as some of my last minute escapades sound, I already have a multitude of regrets of things that I wish I would have done, or time after time that I have yelled at them for things that really weren't as big of a deal as I made it out to be.  I will never measure up to the perfect mom image that I have in my head of how I think things are supposed to be.

The sparkle that a child gets in their eyes when you do something completely out of left field, is one of the most beautiful things in the world, and I have found that those moments are some of the most deeply gratifying of all that I have experienced with them. And while I will still work towards being more structured in my life, this morning I am choosing to be thankful for the free spirit that God has given me, for out of that have come my greatest memories.